I went to Arizona and spent 9 days with my daughter and her husband and my sweet grandson. I loved every moment. It was hot as hell but it was nice to be in their new home and to help with things and to hang out with my little never-stop-moving-and-god-forbid-don’t-sleep-because-you-might-miss-something grandson. But as I was going up the steps to my apartment I had this feeling that came to me. I was so excited to “be with” my sweet Akua kitty that died in January. Yep, that does sound weird. It was very unexpected. I even thought it was weird. I do still see her and feel her presence. (Kind of odd since she died when I was still in my house). But I always feel her here. I see her walk past me or I feel her on my bed. I just did not expect that I would be so excited to “see” her again. It literally felt like I was coming home to my live kitty.
I have to admit that I still am careful about leaving the door open…..until I remind myself that Akua is not physically here and she isn’t going to run out the door. Or that I don’t have to pick up my paintings I’m working on because she isn’t here to steal my paint brushes or walk across wet paint. But I totally did not expect the strong and very unexpected feelings that I had of coming home to her.
I kind of dread the time that comes when I don’t see or feel her anymore. She was my heart kitty. I loved every pet I have ever had. But Akua was different. I really don’t want her to ever “not be there”.
Do you have these feelings about a deceased person or pet? Do you expect them? How does it make you feel? I personally, find a peace in it. And when she decides that she needs to go and has other things to do, I will be sad but she will always be in my heart.