A Journal of the Heart...
I am not big into New Year this, New Year that. And this year has been so crazy in so many ways. But I do find myself reflecting on the year of 2020.
As some of you know I owned a wonderful gift shop/gallery inside a nice hotel. I supported all local artists. 8 years and 68 artists when I had to close my shop due to covid. This was pretty devastating to me because this was my living. I don’t have a partner or husband, so my life is taken care of 100% by me. And of course, I still have Sacred Embers. But closing the shop really flattened me for a moment. I remained positive because this year my daughter and my son in-law became pregnant and my grandson would be born in 2020. So exciting. But because of all of the restrictions I was not able to make all the trips to be with them to share in the pregnancy.
I have also been a homeowner for 28 years and this 2020 situation made me decide that I don’t need to be a homeowner anymore. I no longer felt that I needed to own my home. I didn’t want the responsibilities any longer. I realized I could downsize (GREATLY downsize) and get into an apartment on the water that I have coveted for years. No one ever moves out of them but guess what? I’ll be moving into them in February! I set my intentions and started selling my belongings, my art, everything. Donating lots and clearing my space. I started this process long before finding out that I had a space opening in the apartment complex. I am so incredibly excited about this upcoming change! You see, the water is my peaceful place. So living on the water will be so amazing! Living there will free me to visit my grandson and his mommy and daddy! My house goes on the market in 2 days.
OH my grandson, ENZO!!!!! I got to drive with my best friend to see my pregnant daughter in June. Just a short visit but at least I got to see her in person. He was born on October 5th. The second my daughter went into labor I went on quarantine so that I could drive down. Baby Enzo is the most handsome and smart baby in the world (duh, of course he is!!). Spending those 2 weeks with them, helping with everything was wonderful. My daughter did a home birth and did amazing, but he was a big baby and she needed some help. Seeing their relationship blossom even more was what every mother wants to experience. Leaving was horrible. I bawled for about 27 miles straight and then periodically all along the 13 hour drive home. And I didn’t get to spend Enzo’s first Christmas with him because I couldn’t fly and the passes aren’t super safe at this time of year. To say that I am in love with Enzo is just not enough. This child is magical. He really is magical!
That being said, 2020 pushed me to know that nothing will stop me. I can manifest and build towards a life that I will be happier with. I have parted with items really realizing they are “just things”. I have tried new things. I have become a Grandma! I have learned I can make changes. I know that being at peace is VERY important to me. I look forward to the days of seeing people’s smiles….no masks. Being able to hug others and travel freely.
What have you learned?