A Journal of the Heart...
Here we are, the holiday season coming up very quickly. For me, besides the month of August the holiday season is difficult. Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have always equated the holiday season with my brother. It was such a special time for him. He was always the most gracious and amazing host…..even when he was so sick that anyone else would have not bothered.
It’s been 11 years since David died. August 20th, 2008, 3 days before his birthday. That is why August is hard. I think all is good and I’m “fine this year” and then I realize it still sucks. I feel the same way about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I miss him a lot. And now, nearing the end of November I can feel “those feelings” creeping in. I keep hoping that it won’t come, but it does. And I know that I am not the only person that has “those feelings” at this time of the year.
If you know me you know that I am one of those people that is always trying to be positive and filled with smiles and happiness. Not in a fake way, because if I’m not happy you will probably figure that out. But I work in the public and I have to be able to present well. My problems are not my clients. But I can feel myself be more sensitive. My eyes may fill with tears and the person that I am talking to might think “What the hell is wrong with her!?” But remember, I’m not the only one. Look around you.
I assure you there are others struggling emotionally due to loss of some kind at this time of year.
I have always told my Sacred Embers clients that it “Never gets better. It only gets different”, regarding death. It’s very true.
I still enjoy the holidays. There are just moments I feel a little raw. I have my daughter and those that I love, of course, but because you lose someone does not ever mean that you forget them. Those feelings are there. Period. It’s o.k. to have those moments that are not stellar but remember to also live in the moment. Continue to live, to love and laugh and cry…….but continue to live. Yep, I said it twice.
Whether it’s a holiday, a birthday, a song………….whatever your trigger for that loss, continue to live. That is the very best way to honor them.