When someone you love dies, regardless of your age, regardless of who they are, chances are you have memories of them. Certain objects, smells, sounds, songs, people…they remind you of them. In part, that is them saying hi to you. Reminding you that they are still very close to you. They are now in another realm, but they are with you.
My Grandfather I am reminded of every time that I see the Narrows Bridge, every time that I go past Allenmore Hospital, or the sight of an old fancy cadillac.
My Grandma……………oh there are so many things. Sometimes my daughter will make a face and I know it is my Grandma. I have certain items that were hers or if I see a baklava or her beautiful peonies. When she died, I took these from her garden. This is actually the first year that they have been so beautiful.
My brother, David, so many things bring back memories. The smell of a cigar (he didn’t smoke them often), a good bottle of wine, a photo, certain words……..I know he is close and I know he visits.
When you have memories presented to you of your loved ones…….whether it’s a person or a pet, acknowledge them, revel in them, cherish them. They are some of the greatest parts of life. The things you cannot put a price on, those are the most valuable and priceless. When they say “It’s the little things”, that is so very true! See the beauty in these memories, shed some tears, it’s o.k. Find the light and love. Let it bring a smile to your face.
Mount St. Helens is most notorious for its major eruption on May 18, 1980, the deadliest and most economically destructive volcanic event in U.S. history. Fifty-seven people were killed; 250 homes, 47 bridges, 15 miles (24 km) of railways, and 185 miles (298 km) of highway were destroyed.
Every year I think of this because I remember where I was when it happened and the thoughts that I had. Later in life when I started Sacred Embers I ended up with a client that I shall never forget. A part of her Sacred Embers pieces that I created for her also included some Mount St. Helens ash because she was actually there and quite frankly, should be dead. She said she continuously finds remnants of that day....she probably always will.
I hope that her Sacred Embers has brought continuous peace and strength through the years. If you are interested in Sacred Embers, please contact me. A free consultation is always given.
This is a time of Yesterday I presented a Sacred Embers to someone. But it was so very different than any other time.
Our world is dealing with the Corona Virus (Covid19). Businesses are closed. People are called to remain in their homes unless it is necessary to come out for something.
Normally when I meet with someone regarding their Sacred Embers hugs are exchanged. When I present someone with their Sacred Embers there are more hugs exchanged. This time, we met on my porch, away from eachother. She loved her Sacred Embers, she told me and I could see it all over her face. It was to honor her mother. She is a very young woman, younger than my daughter. It killed me to not have the ability to give her a hug……hugs are part of the healing process. When she left, I selfishly felt sad that I could not give her a hug.
Yesterday I found out that a very dear friend had died. He had lived through so much in his lifetime. He was a military veteran. And because of his service he suffered a lot of things due to Agent Orange. He was a family man. His wife was his caregiver until the end. I cannot imagine the emptiness she is feeling. I will call her later today to check on her. But because of this worldwide virus, her world will be even smaller and more empty. Her grief will play out differently than if this virus was not attacking us right now.
This is a time of Rolling with Changes. We must remain positive and strong. We have strength in our cores.
Rolling with Changes. We must remain positive and strong. We have strength in our cores.
6 months ago an elegant, cultured woman came into my shop (it’s located in a hotel). C was on her “Mobile Mourning Tour”. She was grieving the death of her husband of MANY years and she was taking S’s locks of hair around to various important places in their lives together. In our conversations she learned of Sacred Embers and she decided she would like to have a Sacred Embers created with his hair. In the process of phone conversations we actually became friends. C is a lovely woman with magical stories (and photos) of their incredible world that they built together.
I ended up collaborating with a local fine jewelry artist. With the Sacred Embers I created and a beautiful pendant that S had given her and a tiny vile for some of his hair, an incredible one-of-a-kind Sacred Embers was born.
C is a maker of big memories. Her life with S was making big memories. Her tour and our conversations and the creation of her Sacred Embers have all been an integral part of those memories. Looking back, being present and making new memories and combining ALL of those because the story will truly never end.
I feel like I know S a bit after this process. He even “visited” by announcing his presence with his cologne when I was beginning to create his Sacred Embers. And with every story the C tells me I feel I know him more and more. If he were to walk in room right now, it would be as if I have always known him. C’s stories are so vibrant and descriptive. Her words truly paint a very clear picture of what she is telling you.
I just returned from traveling to see C and to present to her S’s Sacred Embers. She opted for the 2 of us to go to a beautiful venue near her home. Watching her see it for the first time was amazing. It was also a beautiful way for her to share more about her sweet S. The following day a special group of women convened to have a memorial and to have S placed around her neck. It was another beautiful moment of the past, the present and looking forward. (Not moving on, that is totally different).
This was an incredible Sacred Embers experience………for both of us. And, as always, a huge honor. With every Sacred Embers I feel that I learn something. This time I really learned to live in the moment, to think big and to believe bigger and realize that everything is intertwined.
Here we are, the holiday season coming up very quickly. For me, besides the month of August the holiday season is difficult. Thanksgiving and Christmas. I have always equated the holiday season with my brother. It was such a special time for him. He was always the most gracious and amazing host…..even when he was so sick that anyone else would have not bothered.
It’s been 11 years since David died. August 20th, 2008, 3 days before his birthday. That is why August is hard. I think all is good and I’m “fine this year” and then I realize it still sucks. I feel the same way about Thanksgiving and Christmas. I miss him a lot. And now, nearing the end of November I can feel “those feelings” creeping in. I keep hoping that it won’t come, but it does. And I know that I am not the only person that has “those feelings” at this time of the year.
If you know me you know that I am one of those people that is always trying to be positive and filled with smiles and happiness. Not in a fake way, because if I’m not happy you will probably figure that out. But I work in the public and I have to be able to present well. My problems are not my clients. But I can feel myself be more sensitive. My eyes may fill with tears and the person that I am talking to might think “What the hell is wrong with her!?” But remember, I’m not the only one. Look around you.
I assure you there are others struggling emotionally due to loss of some kind at this time of year.
I have always told my Sacred Embers clients that it “Never gets better. It only gets different”, regarding death. It’s very true.
I still enjoy the holidays. There are just moments I feel a little raw. I have my daughter and those that I love, of course, but because you lose someone does not ever mean that you forget them. Those feelings are there. Period. It’s o.k. to have those moments that are not stellar but remember to also live in the moment. Continue to live, to love and laugh and cry…….but continue to live. Yep, I said it twice.
Whether it’s a holiday, a birthday, a song………….whatever your trigger for that loss, continue to live. That is the very best way to honor them.